Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Today I feel a tremendous victory in the right direction.... I finally have an appointment with THE hip surgeon who is going to (Lord-willing!) make me whole again.  Unfortunately, this incredibly talented surgeon is in Atlanta.....yeah, that's right....Atlanta, GEORGIA!  So, I'll have to fly from Houston to Atlanta for my initial appointment with him and then back again for the surgery.  But, I'll tell ya...I don't mind a single bit!  In fact, I am absolutely ecstatic!  It feels real now.  That little flicker of pain-free hope is in my sights and I can almost reach out and grab it!  So. So. Very. Excited!!!  And it couldn't have possibly come too soon.... my work days are absolutely miserable.  I'm now starting my day taking TWO Tramadol (along with a Prilosec, of course!) and it seems like it's not even touching the pain.  I think I've finally reached that terrible, awful, lousy, no-good point in pain control where NSAIDs are simply no longer effective.  The joint is just too damaged.  So, I limp....and I hate "the limp", ugh!  But, it's all about survival, right?  And, in other odd new development.  So, my hips have always had a strange, loud, painful-yet-relieving POP!  But, this week the POP has taken a life of it's own....much more frequent, and much more random.  And very, very loud!  Prompting strange looks from family and friends with wrinkled noses and wide-eyed stares "ewww, was that...your...hip???"  Yes, folks.  Yes it was.  And now, for my next trick....


Monday, February 6, 2012

PAO surgery video

An excellent video describing PAO surgery.  *WARNING* Graphic Operating Room coverage, not for the faint of heart!  Being an R.N., I kinda love this stuff....It's a little sick, I know!  Enjoy! ;-)
xoxo, Amy

Saturday, February 4, 2012


The International Association for the Study of Pain has a definition that is widely used: "Pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage".

I'll admit, I've avoided posting for a while because my goal is to keep this blog positive.  However, my goal for this blog is to be therapeutic as well, and I suppose if I'm not able to be completely honest...well, that's not very therapeutic for either me or my followers, is it?  I especially want to be a good resource for my fellow "hip chicks" and if I'm not completely honest about this process, then that's not fair to them either.  Girls, you're not the only ones suffering and you're not alone.  These hips hurt, and they hurt bad...really, really bad.  But, we're all in this together, ladies!  And we're not going down without a fight, right??

So, I've done another musical since my last post.  Bim, bam, boom...rehearsals and production DONE!  It was a whirlwind of an experience, only 3 weeks total, but as always very, very rewarding.  This one was especially bittersweet however, since I don't know exactly when I'll return.  I have 2 PAOs on the horizon, with many months of recovery....and unless a particular role calls for a "girl on crutches", it'll be a while before I'm on a stage again.  And that's a very, very hard pill to swallow for me.  

Honestly though, the pain has gotten so intense lately, I find that I am simply just suffering through my days.  I try not to complain, but my dear friends (who know me all too well) can see it.  They can see it in my tired eyes... in the way I desperately seek a chair to collapse in... in the way I avoid challenging tasks (which isn't like me at all!)  I think I would find myself more depressed, if it didn't hurt so darn bad.  It is equal in both hips, more intense in one or the other at a time...probably because I exchange favoritism of one over the other from day to day, moment to moment.  It is sharp and grinding and they "catch" when I walk, as if there's something stuck in the joint.  Now it is not only localized to the groin anymore, but reaches all around the circumference of the acetabulum and is deeply rooted in the posterior as well.  Standing hurts, walking hurts, sitting hurts.... and everything in between.  Taking NSAIDS around the clock and using my ice packs as usual.  But, when I get home from work in tears from the pain, nothing's gonna help but the narcs.  And, that makes me mad.  Real mad.  I know, I'm probably just being a stubborn fool....but I HATE being dependent on a pain pill.  And I hate feeling crippled.  And I hate that so much of my life is "on hold".  I'm sort of between a rock and a hard place....and a barbed wire fence.  Trapped.  Well, at least until someone comes to my rescue with some wire cutters....